


Morning After

by kickassanakin



Series: The (Domestic) Adventures of Team Human [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M, and also just wants to make some crepes, he'll be the next version of Hell's Kitchen I swear to god, in which Crowley is every Destiel shipper ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 02:46:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassanakin/pseuds/kickassanakin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have an awkward morning.<br/>Crowley tries to be a professional chef.<br/>Neither of these things end up very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> I needed this fic so much that I already wrote a second part to it.  
> I just want Crowley to be the sassy kitchen dude. He and Dean will bicker in the kitchen, and trade different cooking recipes, and they'll bond over cooked food just like Sam and Cas bond over literature!  
> THINGS I WISH WOULD HAPPEN: THIS.  
> If you review I'll give you a cookie. That Crowley baked. So maybe you don't want it. Um.

When Dean woke up, he had an armful of angel-turned-human-turned-octopus in his arms, and a healthy case of morning wood pressing at his stomach.

The problem with that was that it was _not his_ morning wood. His was conveniently pressed into the dip in Castiel's hips.

Shit. This was something he hadn't had to deal with yet, and unfortunately he hadn't seen ahead to this... _mishap_. In an attempt to get out of Cas' arms, his erection brushed against the ex-angel's hip, and a strong burst of _ohfuckme_ washed through his body, setting his nerves alight with a sudden inferno. Cas mumbled softly and shifted his hips, which brought the angel's dick rubbing up against Dean one more time. In an effort to hold back a moan, Dean bit down on his lower lip and tried _so fucking hard_ to inch his way out of Castiel's arms. Cas was clearly having none of it, and the vice-like grip of his arms tightened around Dean as Cas rocked his hips one more time. A soft, breathy gasp fell out of his mouth, brushing against Dean's heated face, and he clutched Dean even tighter. The hunter was warring with himself and the urge to just give in to the overwhelming _need_ rushing through his veins.

A sudden knock at the door interrupted Dean's horrible inner monologue. He snapped his eyes shut, taking the look of a man just woken from sleep. He cracked his eyes open to be met with Castiel's wide, terrified blue eyes. "You guys alive in there?" Sa's voice floated in from the door. "It's, ah, morning." His voice was oddly strained. Dean was was instantly alert for trouble.

"Uh, yeah! We're fine in here!" Dean called out, furrowing his brows and trying _so fucking hard_ not to look down at the very obvious boner. Well, both of them. "We'll be out in a sec."

"Good," Sam replied, his voice taking on a worried tone, "Crowley seems to have run into a... _problem_."

A faint, scottish-sounding curse from where Dean assumed was the kitchen alerted both tangled-up men to the predicament that was happening as they played cuddle. Dean wrestled his way out of Cas's arms, finally, and managed not to fall out of the bed and onto his ass. "Shit," Dean swore before grabbing his pants from the floor where they had fallen previously, "We'll be right there."

Sam's giant footsteps faded away, and Dean worked his clothes on eventually. Cas was slower than Dean, and by the time Dean was all ready to see what the commotion was, Cas had just barely gotten out of bed. "Dude," Dean grunted, "do you even _have_ clothes that aren't Jimmy's?"

At Castiel's puppy-like look, Dean groaned in frustration and stumbled over to his closet. "We're close enough in size that these'll do for now," he sighed, and pulled out some jeans and a plaid shirt that Cas could wear. "Put these on." He threw the clothes at the fallen angel, and ignored the glowing baby blues directed his way. "If Crowley fucked something up, I swear to god..."

He burst out of the room, Castiel hopping into one pant leg behind him. He ignored the ex-angel's whining and ran into the kitchen, desperately hoping not to see blood spattered on the walls and Kevin's head in the sink or something -

Oh.

_Oh._

The wave of heat was enough to send sweat pooling in his back. Crowley was shouting at the stove, where a fire was raging up from a small pan of black and crispy... _something_.

"What the _fuck_ did you do?" Dean roared as he searched for the fire extinguisher that he knew they had installed into the kitchen.

"I just thought about making some breakfast, dammit!" Crowley yelled back, waving his arms around and making a general fuss about himself. Cas finally popped into the room, his eyes wide with the sudden realization of danger.

Dean finally found the extinguisher and grabbed it without a moment of hesitation. Thank god John had taught him how to use the things, otherwise he would have been burned to a crisp a long time ago. White, fluffy coolant sprayed out like an explosion of Jet-Puff, and the fire hissed and sparked until it finally died out.

Dean threw the red metal tube aside and turned to glare at Crowley. " _That_ was breakfast?" He growled, clenching one fist. "Surprisingly enough, it wasn't all that filling."

"It was supposed to be a crepe, you buffoon," Crowley bit back, returning to the blackened pan he had been cooking on. "I guess I used too much oil. It's been a while!" He responded after a moment, with sad I-just-got-turned-human eyes that _damn it_ , Dean couldn't not forgive.

"Fine, asshat," he grumbled, "but you have to clean this up."

Crowley mumbled an appropriate response and immediately got to searching for cleaning products. After a bit of help, he found enough steel wool and SOS to clean off even the blackest of burns. He set to work, scrubbing the stove with a set-in-stone glower that only grew with time. Dean shrugged, having done his duty, and turned back to face Cas. The ex-angel was watching Crowley work, and a strange smile was set upon his face.

"What is it?" Dean asked, his head craning back around for another look. Cas just shrugged and that strange smile grew just a bit wider.

"I've... never seen him that _human_ before. Even when I saw him every few days, he never..." the smile faded, only to be replaced with a small frown. Uh oh. Dean could see the soul-crushing guilt just swoop right in and start to strangle poor old Cas.

"Hey," he placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder, "you did your best. Now he's doing his. Let's just... move on from that, okay?" He couldn't say those _other_ words, the let-bygones-be-bygones, because even in his head they rang hollow and untrue. Dean was still hurting from what Cas did.

The fact that he had been close to getting off on said dude this morning was making things even worse. The topper on the cake was that Cas didn't even know he had done it. Almost done it. Fuck, _whatever_. Dean was an idiot, and that was final. The hand previously placed on Cas' shoulder fell, and a concerned pout formed on his lips.

"You're thinking something sad. Stop it," Castiel gazed at him with the clearest eyes Dean had ever had the misfortune of seeing, and placed a hand on Dean's own shoulder. _Okay_. "You don't deserve to be sad."

"You can't exactly threaten to throw me back into Hell anymore, buddy," Dean's grin was fake and couldn't look real to anyone at all, "I think I'm the one calling the shots now."

"Oh my god, would you two idiots get to fucking and get out of my kitchen?" Crowley complained, an unwilling witness to the bare-bones conversation the the two were having. "I get it, Mommy and Daddy have their little spats, but we all like it so much better when you can't stop waxing poetic balderdash and making googly eyes at each other."

Dean and Castiel had to pause to take a good, long look at Crowley. He was still slaving away at the stove, mind you, but his eyes were fixated on the other two, glaring them down and daring either one of them to deny his words. Dean cleared his throat, while Cas wrung his hands nervously. "Right," Dean said after a tense moment, "I'm gonna go... take a shower. Because... _yeah_."

He left without a moment to pause and debilitate the situation a second time. Cas continued to stand there, staring at Crowley with eyes that seemed to penetrate through the now-human's indignant own. "See you later, Crowley," Cas grumbled before whipping around himself and walking out of the kitchen.

Dean made sure the water in his shower was extra cold.


End file.
